Armed Services

I live with two wonderful men.

One is my boyfriend and the other is one of my best friends from college who has since joined the Armed Services. We rent Roommate our extra room (yeah, we have an extra room in NYC) so that he will always have somewhere and friends to come home to. Roommate also moved into this apartment with me before Boyfriend so both our names are on the lease; not Boyfriend

But now the Services want him to cancel all bank accounts, all contracts and leases and disconnect his phone. He even has to get a new computer that is “safe” and doesn’t have Facebook.

Ok. I can figure this out.

I call my leasing office and tell them the situation but get this: we have a rent stabilized lease and if Roommate needs to be taken off then my lease won’t be stabilized and they can charge me
whatever they want.

Shit. I’m going to have to move. I’m broke I can’t move.

I tell them that and then began telling them that he is leaving on a special assignment - he’s going to break down the war in the Middle East. “Well, why didn’t you say that? I’ll talk to legal ASAP” the agent says.

Really? It was that easy.

That was a week ago, haven’t heard anything yet, but since been assured that I’ll get the new lease, solo name and with an abridged price because they realize the price is too much for “little old me.” Which is pretty stellar.

But get this now, the Services need to see a current lease with Roommates name to prove he is not homeless. WHAT THE FUCK? We do not have a current lease because of YOU now (which is honestly driving me bananas and causing my fifth, sixth and seventh gray hair) because you asses needed him off everything.

I just don’t get the Armed Services at all.