Broke A$$ B!%@H

I recently took a look at my bank account, and the stack of red ink barring PAST DUE bills in front of me and thought "man, I need to change my life". If I did today I could possibly be outta this hole with the Chiliean miners.

So...

I quit drinking...gin, tequila and rum. Just came back from Jamica and swore off it only because I almost drowned in it. The Mexican and me had a a civil breakup; it was hard at first but my stomach is thanking me now. I promised Gin we would be backtogether in a later life- when I'm old and decrepit.

Stopped buying drugs and started sleeping with my dealer. Much easier said than done.

Rented out my living room to some scrap trying to make it in the city.

Took the plunge, started panhandling on the streets with my puppet.

Used some advice from a pal and sold riddles and jokes for a $1. I made $3.

And now I'm wondering...have I changed at all or have I just outsourced the problem?

(Oh and THANKYOU Mayor Bloomberg for $13/pack cigs. You're really making the decision to quit for me)